I am Nothing, without God
Sharing what God puts on my heart and my story to encourage and empower others to live fruitful & satisfying lives with Christ!
When my daughter was four years old I was talking to her at bedtime about God and that we accept Jesus into our hearts and she replied, "God is in everyone's heart." She listed some kids names and then said he is even in all the adults hearts. Which made me immediately think of Jeremiah 31:33 “But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel on that day,” says the LORD. “I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people."
I was in awe of how kids can say such wisdom at times. It got me thinking of how they are so much more open to the spirit than most adults cause they haven't been tainted by this world. It also makes them more susceptible to hearing wrong spirits, which is why it's so important to pray with and over our children teaching them what is right.
Furthermore, it had me thinking about how people say it's human nature when they do this or that (referring to something bad) and how wrong that is. We are created in God's image so our human nature is actually pure. The true problem is when Adam and Eve ate the fruit they caused a sin nature to taint the pure human nature. But God had a plan to fix that, thankfully. Jesus came and died to cleanse the sin nature from us to make us pure again. That way the Holy Spirit could dwell within us. God is about free will so we have to acknowledge that we need Jesus to save us and ask him to be our Savior.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV
I read this during a devotional the other day and it really hit home for me. I have been dealing with some chronic pain and issues for twenty plus years. Just last year I was finally given the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and some medication to try to help handle the pain. It helped take the edge off for a little bit. Just as it wasn’t helping anymore the doctor I was seeing retired and no doctor locally will treat patients with it. While my outer self(body) feels like it’s being destroyed and wasting away, God strengths and renews my inner self(soul/mind) daily pushing me not to give up. Even at times when the pain and all makes me feels like I rather not exist, I hold on to God’s promises. One day I will have my healing whether it happens here on earth or in heaven that day will come. I am here going through what I am for a reason. I will trust God to empower me to do what he wants me to do.
Is it easy? No, not at all. I have many moments of feeling discouraged. Especially when things I thought would workout out certain ways don’t. Waiting for God’s timing on circumstances can be rough. That’s why renewing our inner self daily is so important. Being in God’s word and talking to God. He is with us always, he knows our hearts, he loves us unconditionally, and he wants us to trust him
As I have said many times I do not believe God causes the bad to happen. He will work those bad circumstances this fallen world deals you into good for his and our good. (Rom 8:28) My recent reminder of this happened while I was doing some errands the other day. I was having to deal with city traffic and I did a maneuver that I thought Curtis would have been impressed with. It was a move I couldn’t have pull off two-three years ago.
Before he had seizures he drove around 90% of the time. I only did when I had to. Driving gave me major anxiety with panic attacks, especially dealing with traffic. It’s kind of ironic that I wanted to move to the city even though dealing with people and traffic gave me such issues. After Curtis had the seizures I had to drive 100% of the time for nearly two years. I had no choice Curtis was in no condition to do so. I had to drive in the city nearly everyday since he had to be taken back and forth to work.
I prayed a lot using words and in spirit while driving to try to calm me when the anxiety was overwhelming. I did not enjoy having to drive. I couldn’t wait for Curtis to get better. By God he did eventually get healed enough to drive again. I was so grateful for many reasons. He didn’t take over all the driving though. There are times he isn’t up to it or I just do it for whatever reason.
Back to the other day, I had the realization that the extreme anxiety I got while driving wasn’t there anymore. I wasn’t constantly having a rollercoaster of adrenaline rush, which were so exhausting. I am not saying there aren’t times certain circumstances don’t cause them, however, by God I have overcome the intense anxiety. Praise God. He works all things for his and our good.
Nine years and six days after losing my dad in a horrible vehicle accident I loss my mom in a horrific vehicle accident. I didn’t get to say good bye to either. My dad I saw just a few days prior but my mom I hadn’t gotten to see in months. She had planned on visiting and we had plans to visit also. Events like this in life can really change one’s perspective.
I have had several deep heart to heart talks with God. It has felt like it’s been one thing after another and I just can’t catch a break. So much has happened the last couple years. I try to have faith and trust in God but at times honestly it’s so hard. I started doing a devotional and journaling with it. Truly laying everything at his feet.
Recently I saw my husband in bed sleeping and such joy and peace came over me about how blessed I am. I was running errands and found myself with such joy and peace and a smile across my face. I was doing dishes and found myself with such joy and peace and even a smile though I hate doing dishes. More and more lately I find myself smiling, feeling joy and peace. It’s not something this world can give you but it’s what God can give you no matter the circumstances you are facing.
I still have moments of grief, tears, and disbelief that my mom is gone and even that my dad is gone. But I have come to a place that even though I have been through hard, painful events I can’t stay in the despair and the hurt. Instead, I will embrace what the Lord gives everlasting, unfailing love, peace, and joy in the heart.
I want to encourage you today that you don’t need to stay in the despair or hurt either. It won’t always be easy and sure there will be moments that you are overwhelmed with grieve but don’t dwell there. The Lord can and will give you overpowering peace and joy that this world can never give or take away.
Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
The Lord gives his people strength.
The Lord blesses them with peace. Psalm 29:11
How I can relate to this. When I focus on the negative then my life just feels like one trouble after the next. It feels relentless, a never ending stream of issue after issue. Focusing on the negative can lead you down a very dark destructive path. I know I have been there too many times.
I now try to focus on the second part of this scripture “but the Lord delivers him from them all”. No matter what troubles have come I am still here because God has gotten me through them all. God is my strength. God is my comfort. God is my healer. I am far from perfect I have moments of weakness and despair but I choose to remember all the good God has done for us and gotten us through.
No matter what the trouble you are going through right now or the next one that comes I encourage you to focus on the fact God will get you through it.
Yesterday at church the pastor’s message was about sometimes you got to go to the desert to learn to really depend on God and learn to follow his purpose for your life. He doesn’t cause the bad to happen but he doesn’t stop it either at times for good reasons. This really struck at me and I had a realization. Two years ago today Curtis my husband suffered from two spontaneous seizures never having them before in his 40 years of life. It’s a day I will never forget. I almost lost my husband and the effects of that day had us go through a tough season in our lives. Yesterday I realized though that it started my desert trip figuratively speaking of course.
I had a bunch of my plans that I expected to happen. My plans weren’t bad they just weren’t God’s plans. I kept trying to do things with my own determination and strength. It was exhausting; physically, mentally, and spiritually. In God’s plans, you can have peace and rest. During my desert time to start with things got worse because in many areas I was still trying to do things on my own and not fully trust God. When I ended my rebellious independence six months into my desert stay and put all my dependence on God, I had a peace that even though in the natural things didn’t look like they could ever possibly work out in a good way God was going to fulfill his promises.
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 NLT
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
I stepped out of my comfort zone many times following God’s lead and I am so grateful I did. His plans really are better than mine. He made way after way taking negative circumstances and turning them to positive. This last year and half has had ups and downs however, it’s been an eye opening and interesting journey. I found God’s purpose in my life and it was a desire I had has a kid that I forgot about. I even started a business venture that is slowly growing where others I had tried in the past all failed to even really launch at all. Curtis’s health over the last couple months has been improving greatly. I got my husband back and the kids got their daddy back.
I share this as an encouragement to others that despite what the natural may look like God has good plans for you. Put your dependance on him. Seek his direction on what to do. Follow his guidance even if naturally it seems crazy. He will not lead you astray. He will be there with you always cause he doesn’t leave or forsake his children. He is a faithful daddy.
I was riding in the vehicle with my mom while it was pouring rain and crazy drivers on and off. I kept dozing off due to lack of sleep. We were driving from Tennessee to Florida. Fear started to creep in as we got closer to other vehicles and had a few near misses. Then suddenly I was reminded that God gave me another book title and idea. I had not even started writing it yet. If he tells you to do something he will enable you to complete it. I calmed down and knew we would make it home. It’s just like when Jesus said to go to other side then went to sleep in the boat awhile it’s storming. He wasn’t concerned cause he knew God had plans for him on the other side. We may have had a few sketch adrenaline pumping moments but you know what happened? We made it back safe. If God has told you something rest in his peace and promise that he will get you to the other side no matter what the storm looks like.
Notice the scripture says, "all the earth"? Not those that the earth thinks has a nice voice. It doesn't matter what other humans think of your voice. God loves your voice and thinks it's beautiful. Do not be afraid to sing to the Lord. Don't let the enemy's negative thoughts stop you from making a joyful noise to the Lord!
I was taking a shower and I just felt an urge to sing and praise the Lord. Everyone sounds good in the shower anyway right? Seriously though I did it and immediately negative thoughts came. I didn't let them stop me. I sang my heart out to God. I had such peace and joy doing it. The voice I heard coming from me wasn't one I had heard before but knew God was taking delight in it.
I encourage all to forget about everything going on in the world and take the time to just sing your heart out to God! Soak in His presence and love. You won't regret it.
Happy New Year!! I have heard people talking about goals & resolutions for this new year and I wasn't feeling those words. I wanted a different and better word for me. One that didn't make me feel like a failure if for whatever reasons the things on my list didn't happen. I was taking apart my Christmas tree this morning pondering on what word to use and it hit me: Hope. I hope and trust God will empower me. I thought I would share this idea and several scriptures on hope. I pray all that read this have a blessed year!
You are my refuge and my shield;
your word is my source of hope. Psalm 119:114
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD.” Jeremiah 17:7
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
“‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I hope in Him!’” Lamentations 3:24
“Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope.” Psalm 16:9
It’s about not giving up, not letting setbacks stop you from going forward. It’s about learning from all you have gone through but not dwelling in those things. It’s being grateful that you aren’t the person you were yesterday and tomorrow you won’t be the person you are today. Each day moves you closer to Christ. Each day is another day to grow your relationship with God and others. Every step forward there are more chances to share God’s love with those you encounter.
Those encounters can be as simple as what Abby did the other day at the bank. We were in the drive thru and she rolled her window down to tell the teller that her hair was very pretty. The teller couldn’t hear her, so I promised Abby to tell her for her. So when the teller gave me back my items I said, “my daughter wanted you to know you have very pretty hair.” The teller’s demeanor completely changed and she was so grateful.
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.”
Philippians 3:12-16 NLT
If it wasn't for God I would not be here. Seems cliche but it's the complete truth. I have come close to death a few times, I am a living testimony to God. I am far from perfect. I don't have all the answers. I do feel like God wants me to share words of encouragement and share the testimonies (stories) of my life. I pray that all that read what I write are encouraged and empowered to not give up, no matter what this life throws at you, and to seek God for wisdom.